AN ASSESSMENT OF CHILDREN EXPOSURE TO DOMESTIC DISPUTE, VIOLENCE, DRUG USES, AND INAPPROPRIATE LANGUAGES
Parents, “Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (PROVERBS 22 v 6).
This article explores the effect of parents’ deviant behaviors while raising children, such as violent disputes, child abuse, substance abuse, smoking, and inappropriate languages. It is focusing distinctively on the learning input throughout childhood/ adolescence; and the outcome of all the information kept in their memory during the learning process at the point of adulthood. According to most studies on childhood development, children who learned bad behavior from their parents are more likely to develop juvenile delinquency behavior than children who grew-up in strict family values (rules and discipline). Why? Because the living environment in which they grew up deviated their personality from social to anti-social. Meaning, they keep on doing bad things that force them into trouble with society and have no concern about the consequences. An anti-social individual can be described as someone who shows no remorse for his bad actions, no regard for the feeling of other people, irresponsible, hate rules and disciplinary obligation, aggressive and violent, lacking the susceptibility to emotional response.
Given the intense increase in population of delinquent young people in the streets and incarcerating, the cause of this issue has been investigated. Despite many attempts, no concrete result concerning the cause for delinquency behavior has been found. However, continuing interests have been focused specifically on theoretical relationship between early childhood learning process, and violence sequence events by parents. But little that they know, the concept of “Deviant parents influence children’s behavior” is not “theoretical”; it is an “empirical” fact; many families have experienced it, and the bible confirms it by telling parents how to raise sober minded young children, this quote says: “And ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (EPHESIANS 6 v 4). It is to say, even though parent’s bad behavior is not necessary the only fact that driven delinquency behavior, it may contributes in child’s future social interaction. If you want your child to succeed in life, it is important to standardize your family education base on Christian values, which are love for God, the knowledge of right and wrong, fear of sins, and the consequences for failing these values; by doing so, you will be credited by God for doing your job as parents, because He needs young people as much as He needs the adults to host and minister his work. But, how can you teach good values or norms to your child if you’re without any of them? The bible says parents must be sober and chaste so they can exhort young men to be sober minded. This quote says: “In all things showing you a pattern of good works in doctrine showing incorruptness, gravity, and sincerity. Sound speech that cannot be condemned; that he that is of the contrary part may be ashamed, having no evil thing to say of you” (TITUS 2 v 6, 7, 8)
How does Black’s Law Dictionary define DOMESTIC DISPUTE? It is “a disturbance at a residence within a family, involving violence and often resulting in a call to a law enforcement agency”. How this particular event impacts children lives? The fact is, throughout childhood children look at parents as rulers and models. Meaning, while they are complying with any forms of discipline we set-up, they are learning to behave like us and identify themselves to us. For example, a child who observes his/her mother and father hitting each other all the times and involving in frequent violent disputes, it is more likely that child will grow up to be a violent person, or use violent against his wife or her husband like his parents used to do. In contrast, children who learned proper manners during their childhood are less likely to induce in criminal behavior when they get older no matter their living and economic conditions.
DOMESTIC ABUSE AGAINST CHILDREN is defines as persistent inadequacy of care; it may include poor hygiene, poor nutrition, abandonment, lack of love, beating/slapping, burning, sleep deprivation and sexual abuse. What is the outcome of violence against children by parents? Researches on human development suggest that children who have experienced these types of physical and emotional mistreatment might develop low self-esteem as adult; pessimists, negative, and disbelieve that competency, and success are not possible, and mentally deranged (psychotic).
GENERAL OUTCOME OF CHILDHOOD/ADOLESCENCE EXPOSURE TO PARENTS’ DEVIANT BEHAVIOR – “Delinquent”
How to define delinquent? Black’s Law Dictionary defines Delinquent as a person who fails to perform social requirements (an anti-social individual); an example of anti-social behavior could be criminal acts. When that person commits criminal acts the legal study says he/she is a “Juvenile Delinquent”, which is defines as a minor who is guilty of criminal behavior punishable by the Juvenile Correctional Systems.
How can you protect your child/children from these types of dysfunctional issues that could lead them to deviated paths? It is our responsibility as parents to making sure that our children grow up good as they were born. It has been said that there is no marriage without some arguments since it is two people with different personality who have decided to become one physically. Inevitably, sometimes it happens that we have to disagree on each other’s point of views. However, the damages occur: 1) when the relationship become violent and children are observing; 2-when parents are expressing their anger toward children, and physically abusing and neglect them, 3) When parents are using drugs, alcohol, inappropriate languages, and not paying attention of children around them. These types of behaviors are causing emotional and psychological damages as children growing up. My suggestion is that, the moment you’ve decided to bring children into the world change your behavior. If for a certain reason it is difficult to change, at least don’t do bad things while your children are present, because anything that they learned from you will affect their personality forever. It’s that saying, I like this reasoning from John Locke, an English Philosopher during the Age of Reason, or Enlightenment saying: “the idea that the natural human condition at birth is akin (the same) to that of a blank slate upon which interpersonal encounters and other experiences indelibly (impossible to erase) inscribe the traits of personality.”(John Locke, 1632 -1704)
CONCLUSION – Parents, because of your deviate behavior you might help raising serial killers, rapists, robbers, drug dealers and more. Mothers, if I don’t sound convincing enough to make you become better persons let me give you an example; when you give birth, and a few minutes later a nurse put that cute little creature in your arms what do you see? You see an innocent and vulnerable child whose future depends on you to protect and help him/her become somebody. How would you feel if that child become a criminal and you know it’s your fault? Would you be able to live with that guilt? Think about it. There are only three major social institutions that can straight children’s behavior: The first one is PARENTS. The second one is CHURCH. The third one is step in when the first and second are fail, it is the GOVERNMENT CORRECTIONAL INSTITUTIONS, which include jail, prison, rehabilitation, and a permanent bad record attaches to them. So, change your life before you start bringing children into the world; establish rules and discipline in your family. Despite your efforts, your children might choose their own ways of life, but you won’t feel responsible.
Laura Pelliton/Zeida – Copy right 11/2017
THE BIBLE 